So today I am starting to feel a little better, the brain fog is lifting and I felt like I should write today. Some days when I'm having a fairly good day and I can remember what life was like before Chronic Fatigue, before the random joint and muscle pain, before my body would feel like lead. Sometimes I wish that CFS was just a joke that my body was playing on me and that one day I'll just snap out of it, but that's not the case. I continue to search for improvements that I can make to my health. It is all the more important to eat right, live as stress free as possible, do gentle exercise and learn to cope. In a fast passed world where its so important to be accomplished and do as much as possible it is even harder to take care of myself. I moved to a big city 8 months ago with lofty ambitions of starting my life over. I left a long term relationship that I felt was toxic to me, I changed careers to something that should be less stressful, and I moved in with a friend and her family. Granted I do well with change, really well, but what was I thinking? There has been a lot of adjustments including a increase in restrictions to my diet. This past winter was one of my worst seasons for my health and that took a toll on my mental health. My muscles felt like they were on fire, it made it hard to move. My brain felt like pea soup and all the connections and reconnections I was making with people dropped off. I stayed home a lot and very few people contacted me. I felt very alone. I was used to feeling alone with this, but this winter really sucked. This being said my belief in what I was doing in my new career path and my choice to leave my old life behind never faltered, ever. I knew had made the right decision, and I still believe this. I was just going about things in not the easiest way. I joke with my sister that we are very stubborn and seem to like to do things the hard way. WHY? Why do things the hard way if there is an easier way? Not that I want to coast by in life, but life is hard enough living with a chronic illness. Why not try to find people that have gone through similar things and been successful? and learn from them.
It is all the more important to take care of my health and eat properly, all of these things go hand in hand and it is so much harder in a busy city but I will succeed because I have too much to do in this world to help people and make a difference, just need to find the right people to help me along the way.
